QUESTION: Please help me as it feels like I am giving
up on my marriage. I want to know what I must do to
make my husband understand what he is doing to me
mentally. We argue a lot and it seems like my life is
moving in a vicious circle; everything happens over
and over again. I suffered physical abuse for 5 years,
now he only abuses me verbally. However, I will not
accept his verbal abuse even though he becomes
aggressive. I refuse to keep quiet. We sat down and
discussed 'love me, love me not' and came to the
conclusion that we do love each other and really need
each other. Which is why I need your help.
Hi client # 9
Thank you for your email, I hope that I can assist you
with your dilemma. You have written me a very detailed
letter which immediately brings me to the realization
that I may not even need astrology to help you. My
immediate reaction was 'get the hell out of the
relationship' and I had not even looked at your chart.
You gave it away when you stated 'we came to the
conclusion that we love each other and really NEED
each other.'
You are telling me that the relationship is based on
needs from both sides rather than a mutually
empowering relationship. We cannot build on a
relationship if we have not discovered who we are
ourselves. It is all fine and well to get married, only to
find out at a later stage that we are really not compatible
at all. It is so often the case that people try to fulfill the
'empty' parts of themselves by marrying someone who
will 'fill' that void. Sadly, marriage partners are not
counselors, and subsequently disappointment sets in
when the partner does not fill that void. However,
before I assume to assess your situation, let us look
at the chart.
Birth Chart
You are a Gemini Sun with both the Moon and
Ascendant in Capricorn. The Moon in Capricorn tones
down the usually frivolous nature of Gemini, giving
you structure and boundaries. This does, of course,
not make it any easier for you, especially as a child
when you were curious about everything. People
probably discouraged you to follow your Gemini way
of doing things. The psychology there is one of
restriction, subsequent hardships and possibly even
depression; something which is never easy for a
Gemini Sun. You also have 12 squares as opposed
to 4 trines which presents added obstacles. Yet, your
soul chose this journey and one has to wonder why?
You have a mutable grand cross involving the planets
Saturn, Pluto/Uranus conjunction, South Node and
the Jupiter/North Node conjunction. Saturn is your
chart ruler which thus plays an important role in your
chart. Interestingly enough, Saturn is also part of a
water grand trine. What is going on?
In a brief synopsis; what this is telling me is that your
soul has chosen to face a difficult challenge which
may be alleviated to some extent through the grand
trine (involving the planets Neptune/Saturn/Venus –
emotional detachment perhaps). The grand cross
involves a spiritual task which you need to address.
The cross is very karmic and includes karmic planets
like Saturn, Pluto, and the nodes. You have both the
spiritual signs (Pisces and Sagittarius) together with
the planet of spirituality, namely Jupiter as
part of that grand cross. The message
is clear; you have to go to the
depth of despair in order to
rise again as a transformed
human being. Your
partner is the tool
through which this is
facilitated and
therefore tests
are thrown in
your pa t h
enabling you
to rise above
the
mundane,
materialistic
issues
which you
are facing.
Gemini can
be very
loose and
the grand
cross has
forced you to
face reality,
responsibility
and the need not
to use others for
security reasons. You
will use men to get
either the required
financial security or nurturing
and are subsequently left
wondering why this is not working
out for you. Compromise is required to
transform in co-operative relationships, and whatever
your motives are for getting into relationships, they
will be killed off if you get involved in for the wrong
reasons!
In addition, you have both Pluto AND Uranus in your
8th. House which challenges you to reassess your
motives in your relationships. You also have your
Venus, the planet of relationships, at a critical degree,
namely at 12 deg 42 min of Cancer, a cardinal sign.
This suggests that "frustration is due to a refusal to
conform." Yet, you have the ability to change that if
you wish because Venus forms part of a grand trine
and is therefore in a manageable situation.
What is it that you are not facing when it comes to
relationships? Sorry for my candor, but it is imperative
that I tell you how I see it in the chart, the ultimate
choice that you make is yours to live with.
You also mention that your husband used to abuse
you physically and still abuses you on a mental level.
This is simply unacceptable! Abuse of any living thing,
be it people or animals, is a sin against one's personal
integrity and a sin against God. I cannot
understand how you interpret this as
'love' because to love a person,
one could never abuse them.
This shows me that you
need to re-evaluate your
role in the relationship
and ask yourself;
"What is holding me
back from moving
forward? Why
am I allowing
this abuse?" Is
it due to
financial
commitments,
is it your lack
of self worth, or
are you afraid to
venture into the
unknown? You will
have to be very
honest with yourself
and make a decision as
to whether staying in this
marriage will benefit you and
your husband in the long run.
Certainly you must see the signs!
Unfortunately, I just cannot foresee him making the
first move. With the Sun in Libra, he will leave that up
to you.
I strongly recommend that you and your husband go
for marriage counseling which may shed some light
on your situation. Please understand that some people
are meant to be together while others simply are not.
I do realize though that this is never easy to deal with.
Relationships are challenging for most of us.
People come into your life for a reason, season or
lifetime, I just wonder which one is it that applies to
you? You chose a 'lifetime' by getting married. Please, visualize your life in 20 years from now . . . Do you still see yourself with your husband . . . ? If yes, that
is fine. However, if you do not see a future together,
just remember that by then you may be too old to get
out of the relationship.
The choice is yours.
I wish you well,
With gratitude
Harry.
Editor’s note: Lifeline is a voluntary organization
dedicated to free counseling, ranging from rape, abuse
and suicide counseling to trauma, HIV and AIDS
counseling.
The National 24 hour line number is:
0861 – 322 – 322
NOTE ASTROLOGERS:
Are there astrologers out there who can give us more
insight for this client? If you can compile an answer,
please email me at .
I will then pass on your version to client # 9 (I will pass
it on, due to confidentiality).
The birth data is as follows:
16 June 1965
7.50 pm
Johannesburg
If you want to use transits, the question was asked
via email on 7 June 2007 @ 13.53 hrs. in
Johannesburg. I have used the Placidus house system
and true Node.
Harry Waldauer is a Johannesburg based
astrologer and is the principal member of the
Waldauer School of Astrology.
Harry graduated from the Thorburn School of
Astrology and has been involved in astrology
since 1998.He is currently completing his Reiki
Masters and is an active Lifeline counsellor. He
can be contacted at:
084-724-9004 (C) or (011) 453-8327 (H).
or Email:
Lalita Bijker has been a serious student of
astrology for the past 10 years and recently decided
to consolidate her knowledge by studying.
Lalita can be contacted at:
page 23
Speaking of which, imagine the need to guard hell, anyway. Who in their right mind, according the mythic/theological representations of what hell is, would want to sneak in there? - Philip Sedgwick
Saturn's Corner - Astro-Counseling 
; "Birth Chart")
